Given that emotions are not easy to comprehend for adults a lot of time, it’s not hard to figure out why preschoolers have difficulty with theirs. Children at this age are just learning to express themselves and everything is new and confusing.
Thinking before acting is not a typical trait for your child at this age because they have little to no impulse control. Their developing brains often don’t produce the appropriate reactions to situations, which causes them to want what they want when they want it, followed up with outbursts if they don’t get it. That explains a lot about those tantrums if you don’t buy them a toy in the store, doesn’t it?
They truly do not understand what sadness, fear, anger, jealousy, and happiness really mean. As a parent or guardian, you can help to make some sense of this chaos for them. Which can also be overwhelming for you.
So, how is it that you can help your preschooler understand, and cope with their feelings?
An effective way to encourage your child’s healthy expression of their feelings is to help them label their emotions. Phrases like “you seem sad because” or “you looked like you were angry when” followed up with a brief description of the situation (e.g. an older sibling taking their favorite stuffed animal, or their best friend has moved away) can help identify and normalize what they are going through. Approaching feelings this way can make them a lot less scary and elicit more appropriate reactions from your child.
There are a lot of resources that can help your child learn to express themselves in healthy ways. Written for preschoolers, there are a plethora of books that deal with the subject in an entertaining and helpful way. Building Blocks Preschool Director and Lead Early Education teacher, Kathryn Kennedy, helped to provide an impressive list of titles that include favorites such as:
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain is a classic that doesn’t give emotions a bad, or good, moniker. They are simply feelings. Cain addresses the common emotions of happy, sad, and angry but also delves into others like pride, boredom, and jealousy.
Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival teaches children that talking about your negative feelings (such as worry) can prevent them from getting so big that they steal your happiness.
My Friend is Sad by Mo Willems is another great book from a familiar name. Using fast-paced humor, Willems sends Piggie on a mission to help his friend, Elephant, from being too sad. In this tale, children are taught important qualities like empathy and compassion.
My Mouth is a Volcano by Julia Cook tells the tale of Louis who just can’t wait to share his thoughts and ideas! Cook helps children to control their tendency to interrupt. She takes an empathetic approach to Louis’s interruptions and encourages the use of a witty technique to control their impulses.
The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig addresses the needs of quieter, more sensitive children when Brian, who feels invisible, befriends Justin the new kid in the class. Ludwig uses small acts of kindness to illustrate inclusion, and acceptance in this gentle story.
Sharing a book on emotions with your preschooler can not only help their social skills but reading together also strengthens their literacy and your relationship.
Have you read any of these books? How did they work for you and your preschooler?
